Count the friends you can count on
OCCASIONAL SOAPBOXBY THE FLY ON THE WALL
I WAS at the airport, sending off a close friend who was leaving for a long posting abroad.
We had been friends since school and had maintained this close friendship ever since.
We had been there for each other through tough times –relationships gone bad, illness, deaths in the family, periods of unemployment.
We shared good times, too – graduation, weddings, children, new jobs and just general happy times.
”How many friends do you have?” he asked me suddenly.
“Oh I don’t know ? we know a lot of people,” I replied.
We had always been popular and had never found it difficult to make new friends.
“No, I don’t mean friends in the casual sense, I mean true friends,” he persisted.
Most of those we call “friends” are merely acquaintances, he explained, people whom we work with, people that we socialise with, not so much by choice but because of circumstance.
When we were in school, there were eight classes with about 40 pupils in each.
We used to see these 320 people every day for five years. We played together, we studied together, and we antagonised teachers together.
These were the people that we grew up with and who supposedly shaped our character.
“So where are all your schoolmates now?” he challenged me.
I realised that I didn't know where most of these 320 people were, and I had no idea even where to begin to look for them.
After my friend's flight had departed, I kept thinking about where all my school friends had disappeared to.
I met up with some other schoolmates later and posed the same question to them.
“Where have all our friends gone? What happened to Lim? Do you know where Rama ended up? What about Din?”
Although all of us remembered everybody we went to school with, no one knew where the majority had ended up.
And, for those of us who knew where Sam was, and how many kids he had, no one really kept in touch with him. Even more frightening was that no one seemed to care.
And that, I suppose, was the crux of the matter. We had all just grown apart.
So, my friend was right. These weren’t really friendships in the true sense. These were not people that I could go running to in the event I needed help. These were not people that I could trust my life with. They were people that I would fondly recall old stories with, but they were not true friends.
I will never forget the words of my friend that night at the airport.
“Everyone is only looking out for himself ... you are lucky if you can name one true friend – no matter where he or she may be. You are considered blessed if you can count your true friends on every finger of one hand.”
To be blessed, I would have to be able to count five true friends. I still consider myself blessed that I can count, three.

Brendan's 28...

Fractured hand... but overwhelmed...

This is Chuk Sang FC...

Chuk Sang Official Site

This is the official site for the Chuk Sang of Seremban Paulians and Puterise. The key members include Ames, Sean, Brendan, Wing, KSeng, Maw, Apollo, Heng, S Chew, Kang, Pei, Annette, Hoon, DaiDor, Meng... been friends for more than 10 years, and more years to come by...

Pic: Brendan's 28th Birthday at Wing's

Simple v Real Friendship by Chen Qin

A simple friend identifies himself when he calls.
A real friend doesn't have to.
A simple friend opens a conversation with a full news bulletin on his life.
A real friend says, "What's new with you?"
A simple friend thinks the problems you whine about are recent.
A real friend says, "You've been whining about the same thing for 14 years. Get off your duff and do something about it."
A simple friend has never seen you cry.
A real friend has shoulders soggy from your tears.
A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names.
A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book.
A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A real friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.
A simple friend hates it when you call after he has gone to bed.
A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.
A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems.
A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.
A simple friend wonders about your romantic history.
A real friend could blackmail you with it.
A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.
A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself.
A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.
A real friend knows that it's not a friendship until after you've had a fight.
A simple friend expects you to always be there for them.
A real friend expects to always be there for you!